Whether or not you've gotten your sealegs yet as a mom, especially if you are staying at home, you find yourself yearning for some adult companionship that understands what you are going through. Let me let you in on a little secret. Playdates are NOT just for kids. They're actually for moms too. Socialization for the kids is important, but playdates are also places where moms can go and the kids can play in relative safety. Here's where Moms evolve that ability to do that one eye on the kid, one eye on the other person in the conversation thing that they do. But having the kids in a safe area with other moms around, definitely allows you to let that pent up girl talk out. Here's how to get started:
First, Determine Your Goals
What do you want from new mommy connections? Do you want intellectual stimulation? Or to let your hair down? Do you want to mostly talk about the kids, not talk about the kids, or simply just go out for dinner and a movie monthly? Do you want someone to exercise with?
Tailor your plan to what your goals are. If you are looking for moms to work out with, scope out the day care at the gym. Are there regulars you see in there? Ask them if they'd be up for putting the kids in a jog stroller and rollerblading in the park one afternoon.
If it's more intellectual stimulation, get to know the moms at the library storytime. They obviously put a value on reading and education. Don't forget the summer reading program at your local library. They often have corresponding adult summer reading programs as well. Maybe you can partner up with another mom and child team.
More Places to Find Other Moms
- Check out our playgroup finder tool for local groups in your area. Click here.
- Look anyplace where children gather, moms can't be far behind!
- Try music, art, dance, swimming or gymnastics classes for kids.
- Discover your neighborhood parks. The best time to go is midweek between late morning and lunchtime or right after lunch. On weekends, daddies often populate parks.
- Sign up for mommy & me activities and classes at the gym.
- Some malls organize stroller walks for moms with small kids. If your mall isn't doing this, ask the community relations or PR person at the mall to help you start one.
- Are you a member of a church, synagogue, or other spiritual center? Look for moms dropping their children off at childcare during the services.
- Ask your pediatrician and OB-GYN, the hospital where you gave birth, or the agency you used to adopt, to help you connect with other moms in your area.
- Communicate with other moms at the mall or grocery store, or stroll through your neighborhood on a nice day, and suggest a play date with a mom you might meet.
- Put notices up on bulletin boards at your spiritual center, your childcare or a babysitting service, or at a children's clothing or toy company. You may want to consider putting your phone number or email on the flier. You can also put a notice in a local parenting publication; look for notices already printed there, maybe another mom is looking to make a new friend, too.
- Do you work in an office? Don't have time during the day for a playgroup? Gather up a bunch of moms in your office (you'll know them by the pictures of kids on their desks) and start a "Moms Do Lunch" club once a week.
Virtual Mom Friends
- Need a quick fix? Want to talk to another mother who understands what it's like to be up with a colicky baby in the middle of the night? If you haven't already, check out chat rooms and message boards for mothers online. The women you'll meet online probably aren't around the corner, but you can share your thoughts with and get support from moms just like you. This can be quite a blessing when you're feeling lonely in the middle of the night, or day. Try Facebook.com, CafeMom.com, Babyzone.com, Kaboose.com or right here at Mommyandme.com.
Breaking the Ice
- Once you're in a situation with other moms, smile, introduce yourself, and pick something to talk about that would be of interest to both of you ("Where did you find that great sand toy?" "Have you heard that pumpkins have a lot of beta carotene?")
- If you didn't feel at home with the first playgroup you try, try another group, or try the same one another day. Don't give up!
When In Doubt, Start Your Own
- Can't find an existing group? Start your own playgroup by gathering moms from all the sources listed above. Take turns meeting weekly at each other's houses or at the park during nice weather.
- Decide what time you want to meet, how long to meet for, and how to handle birthdays. Will you collect dues for communal snacks or bring your own? Whether to invite new members or limit membership should be discussed in advance.
- Gather all the families, including the daddies, a few times a year so your family friendships can deepen over time.
- Use the Free Mommy and Me Playgroup Organzier tools to help coordinate your playdates and keep everyone informed and communicating.
- Over 40? Mother of twins? Adoptive mom? Consider starting up a specialized group.



