What Can a Dad Do?
With the notable exceptions of actually giving birth to and breastfeeding your child, there’s no limit to the ways in which you can bond with your new child. The struggle, which should be lessening in our times, is to stop seeing certain child care duties in a sexist manner. Men can spoon and cuddle and comfort, just as women can play rough. Don’t let society dictate when and how you should have a relationship with your child, and you’ll find many more opportunities to become involved in your child’s life from the start!
Don’t Panic!
Fear is the main thing that holds men back from initial contact with a new and fragile baby. But women worry, too! It’s just that they’ve been raised to believe they have a “natural ability”, and are conditioned to trust their instincts in this area. Most parents, men and women, can do with a little coaching in proper baby handling! But the basics are there in most of us: pay attention to whether or not the child looks comfortable with the way you are holding them. An uncomfortable baby is like that old operating board game – they let you know immediately when you’re doing something wrong! In pre-natal classes, which you can attend with your partner, they should show you options for holding and carrying your child, and give you dolls to practice with. It’s not the same, but far better than a completely cold start!
Being a Guy
As we’ve all been raised with the usual male/female stereotypes, guys tend to be more comfortable with rigorous types of interaction and play. There’s no problem with that, as long as you follow some ground rules about what baby can handle.
· Never shake a baby! In a still developing child, this can cause mild to severe brain damage – need we say more?
· It’s a good idea to wait at least three to four months before even beginning more physical play, such as tickling with your child. Until then, it’s time to unpack your inner “softie”!
· Let the child tell you when they are ready
Any kind of play with your child should involve you paying careful attention to their mood to make sure they are still enjoying the interaction!
Taking Over
We all know moms bond faster with their children. This is at least partly to do with the fact that moms also do most of the feeding! Well, why not make brownie points with both mom and child, and take over the midnight feeding? Sure it’s rough, but it’s the one time mommy will definitely give up without a fight! She’ll appreciate the extra sleep, and you’ll get some truly one-on-one time with your child! Everyone wins! Other optional daddy duty activities are diaper changes and bathing. It may surprise you to find how much interaction happens at these times, and aside from certain smells, how close you and your child can become by adding these times to your father/baby bonding.
New Traditions
Do you have a special story you loved as a child? What about reading that story at bedtime? Your baby may not understand the story yet, but the lower tonalities of male voices can have a calming lulling effect on children, as long as the volume is right! Early on, you could read to them aloud anything you like for the same effect, though staying clear of questionable texts might be advisable at any age! Children repeat the things that we say most often, so you don’t want to plant the wrong seeds!
Get It Now!
The moral of the story is: Don’t Wait! Sure, you could hold off until they’re old enough to be thrown and tickled, but why miss out on what’s happening now?!? Instead of being limited to the old standard “tossing a ball with dad on the front lawn” scenario, you’ll build up many ways in which you and you child can be together and bond throughout your lives.
